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_DSC9303_©Benedikt Walther.jpg



track list
Image by Olivier Brugger

track 1

00:00 / 00:37

Cape Town, 2002, driving home, I saw Lionshead sillhouted against a miraculous sunset, and sang for joy.

That's how You was birthed, a song that celebrates the beauty of our natural world and expresses gratitude for the many blessings we have around us.


You, silhouette the mountain on,

A sky blazing with the setting sun.

You, plunge the evening into blue,

As an ocean breeze chills me through and through

You, made angel fish gape unintelligently,

Coz You knew that that would appeal to me,

You, in the sublime or ridiculous,

You are You nothing more, nothing less.

And I,



I wanna know more,

I wanna know what makes You, You.

Lord I wanna know more,

Coz I like the way You’re so,


You’re so,


YOU! Make a city-lit mist comfort the ground,

Like a carpet that muffles footstep’s sound,

You, make the thundering waves stop at my feet,

Throw sins where east and west don’t meet.

You, paint a colourful rainbow after the rain,

To remind me that You’ll keep Your promise again,

You, show me in detail that you care,

When each season’s scent perfumes the air.

And I,



I wanna know more,

I wanna know what makes You, You.

Lord I wanna know more,

Coz I like the way You’re so,


You’re so,

Pre Bridge: La, la, la



Like flowers on the mountainside.

In your bigness I can hide.

Though You make all things new,

Yet I find You’re always You,


Repeat Chorus x 2

estledaire 2002
(tanya michelle matefi)

punctured punctuality

punctured punctualitiy

Punctuality’s a punctured paradigm.
When you grow up influenced by African time.
When I say I’ll be there, “just now”,
What I'm saying is something undefined.

It may be 15 seconds,
It might be half an hour,
A day a month a year,
but anytime with you’s just fine, my dear….

Coz you, ooooooh
You make me sing, you make me smile,
For you, I always have time, so stay for a while.

When I get lost inside my mind
There’s no clock for me to wind
My “punctured-ality” leaks minutes and hours,
but for you I always have ample time

It may be 15 seconds,

It might be half an hour,

A day a month a year,

but anytime with you’s just fine, my dear….

Repeat Chorus X 2

I won’t exaggerate, oh
Your time don’t hesitate, no
Can’t stop these turning hands,
My hour glass out of sand.

I need an extra helping

of this sweet, sweet “somewhile”
Give me a second, second,
on your tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock,

tick-tock, clock dial

African Time Chorus in Swing Rhythm
Chorus x 2:

estledaire 12.01.2015
(tanya michelle matefi)


track 2

00:00 / 00:41

punctured punctuality playfully explores different cultural perceptions of time, and the infamous South African
"just now", but finds, that whatever our understanding of punctuality, we always find time for the people who are important to us.

Newlyweds with bike and

track 3

I was humming a new melody and the word, "daisy" kept persisting in my thoughts, no matter how much I tried to push it away. I had to think of the well-known song, "Daisy-belle", which I used to delight in singing with my grandparents as a child. The story of a young couple, too broke to have a fancy wedding, who leave the church on a tandem bicycle, always fascinated and charmed me.

This completely new interpretation of the well-known song from the late 19th century, shows us Daisy's perspective.




Daisy Daisy, ooh,

Give me your answer, answer do!

I'm half crazy, crazy, ooh
All for the love of you! oh

Verse 1

There's a flower in my heart,

Planted by a passing dart,

Whether he loves me or not,

I’m longing to share his lot

And I long to hear him say.

Repeat Chorus:

Verse 2

It won't be a stylish marriage,

You know we can't afford a carriage,

But we'll look sweet upon the seat

Of a bicycle made for two!

And I love it when I hear him say, he says...

Repeat Chorus:


Repeat Chorus: I love you, Daisy, Daisy…

I’ll stand by you in weal or woe,

I'll wear your ring, you know! X 2


Say I do,

I’m crazy for you,

All for the love of you – Bicycle made for two x 4

All for the love of you

Repeat Intro

music: estledaire - 2016 (tanya matefi)
lyrics: estledaire adapted from “Daisy Bell”
by Harry Dacre 1892

00:00 / 00:18
see you later

see you later


You said, “See you later”,
But what you meant by that,
Took more patience than I got, than I got.


Get to another lonely night,

What’s your plan?

Well babe you might, baby you might….

It's always “wait and see”,

Do you have a little time left for me?
It's always touch and go,
Coz you can't give what you don't know.


Well in my dream I was lying on the floor,

You’d abandoned me for “something more”.

Baby, my heart, my heart was rent,

When you left, oh baby, when you went.


Oh baby, my heart, my heart was rent,

When you left, oh baby, when you went,
you said...



You said, “See you later”,
But what you meant by that,
Took more patience than I got, than I got.


Get to another lonely night,

What’s your plan?

Well babe you might, baby you might….

It's always “wait and see”,

But wait and see just 'aint enough for me, no.

When the chips are down,
When I'm in need you're not around.

Woke up with your arms around me,

You said I was your best lady,

Dry your tears, it will get better someday,

But then you had to go away!

See you later baby – repeat and skat till end.

And I said,

“See you later!”

estledaire 05/2017
(tanya michelle matefi)

Japanese cat figurines_edited.jpg

track 4

00:00 / 00:30

who knew breaking up could be so funky!

under my hat
_DSC9228_©Benedikt Walther_edited.jpg

track 5

00:00 / 00:37

I always knew my first album would be called
"under my hat", symbolising the releasing of these songs and ideas, that I had kept secret for most of my life.


After a major life shift, it was a case of "now or never", at this pivotal time, I wrote the title song of the album, which describes overcoming doubt to realise a dream.

All the images in the song are from moments in my life.

under my hat

Verse 1
In a musty cupboard,
Sings a peculiar bird.
Her voice is muffled by coats
Wool, fluff and dust in her throat.

But there’s a strange bird,

singing a strange song

Nobody knew, but she was there all along

Couldn’t keep it in.

Muted by doubt,

But now it’s time to let it out.

Look to the sky, oh
Go up to the hilltops Tannies
Don’t hide your light,
Sing out!

Sing with the birds, oh,
High up in the treetops Tannies,
Don’t doubt your worth, Sing out!

Even if no-one understands x 3
Sing out!

Verse 2
There’s a grey, felt hat,
The song comes from under that.
Her voice is muffled by jeans
Her words unheard, her ideas unseen.

Yet it whispers like a dream
Don’t fear, if you don’t understand
Everything will be alright,
Coz I’ll take your hand.

I’ll take you to the sky,
Take you up to the hilltops Tannies
Don’t hide your light,
Sing out!

Take  you to sing with the birds, oh,
High up in the treetops Tannies,
Don’t doubt your worth, Sing out!

Even if no-one understands x 3
Sing out!

Slow Chorus:

There’s a strange bird
Sitting on a rock
She sings to the sea
She avoids those, who mock

So nobody sees.


But there’s a strange bird
She watches the tide
As she sings to the sea,

As the surf rides, she abides
Till the day, the song will be free.


Repeat Chorus
Ooooh, Sing out!

estledaire : 2016
(tanya michelle  matefi)

There's a reason it's called falling.

You don't see it coming, you can't stop it happening,
you fall for someone, but you don't hit the ground!


And something just as unforeseen happened when I was putting the finishing touches to this song. The chord progression simulates falling, and I couldn't decide which note to end on and was playing with three descending notes.

... then magic happened...

the experimentation with the three notes, led to my fingers discovering a new picking technique, which further underlines the idea of "falling" and "floating".

like falling in love!

i've fallen for ya

i've fallen for ya


I’ve fallen for ya,

Without making a sound,

I’ve fallen for ya,

Without touching the ground,


Well I’ve fallen for ya,

Do you know what that means?

I’ve fallen for ya,

You - you could fulfill my dreams.



I was so lonely,

When you found me, baby

And you didn’t need to say a thing.


Without a word,

I knew that I was heard,

And I started falling.


Repeat Chorus



I’m floating,

You don’t know that,

You have a special ability,


When you come round,

I can’t come down,

That’s the effect you have on me.


I’m high as a kite

When I think that you might,

Feel the way I do,


Yeah I’m lighter than air,

When I think that you care,

Coz I’ve fallen for you.


Repeat Chorus

estledaire  08.2017
(tanya michelle matefi)

Image by freestocks

track 6

00:00 / 00:36
seasonless summer

seasonless summer

The endless winter,
Dragged on, and on,
Till the day that you came
As if you created
A pocket of timelessness,
And stopped the rain.

Ooh-hoo, see the past pictures
Timeless mountain,
magic-lit with stars.

Oh yeah, skies blue, forgotten,
Only day’s last glance,
in the deep indigo
merging into the dark.


Furore of the street,
for unmoment, became quiet.
hurtling through the years,
could not bring us, back into time.

The seasonless summer,

Was like no other,

A sparkling prime.


You rendered
When you left,
All things, flat and lifeless,
in insubstantial time.


Ooh-hoo, unjustifiable,
leaving what we, never even knew.
Yeah, after what happened,

Couldn’t reconcile myself to life
without you, ooh hoo.

Repeat Chorus

While we were singing tonight, a marked hush fell,
it was that slowing of everything, that is torrential rain.
And somehow I was eased, my heartbeat calmed,
In the drenching of the storm, all else was drowned.


Repeat Chorus
Counter melody:

Finding in the storm,
A place dry though walled with rain.
In this quiet storm tonight,
I commune with you again.

Closed bracket of rain.
The world forever changed.
A life flashed before our eyes.
but I’ll never see you again.
I’ll never see you again.

estledaire 2012

(tanya michelle matefi)


track 7

00:00 / 00:30

A moment of sad gratitude,
a short goodbye to a beautiful time,

accepting that it’ll never come again.

[talina] in a box

Is it a teddybear?

Is it a sheep?

No, it's Talina the sheepiest, goofiest most
loveable dog you've ever seen!

Yes, she has a few disgusting and stinky habits,
that land her in the bathtub, and she does love sleeping in her dog box but....
when she gives you that sheepish look,
you simply have to let her off the hook!



track 8

[talina] in a box


Talina, Talina, you’re sleeping in the box tonight!

Oh Talina, Talina, coz what you do it just ain’t right!

Oh Talina!


Verse 1

I can’t get no sleep

Talina’s on the beat

As she feels the heat,

Oh, now she’s howling at the moon,

Won’t fall asleep too soon,

till she’s out the room.



Oh, you’re going in the box tonight,

Yeah you’re going in the box tonight


Talina’s in the box tonight

You’re going in the box tonight,

Yeah you’re going in the box tonight

Talina’s in the dog box tonight!


Repeat Chorus


Verse 2

If you wonder, ew, what is that,

I think I smell a rat?

Check the welcome mat!

Or maybe that disgusting and hideous pong,

Is her favourite roll-on,

“Old Mice” odour colon!


Repeat Chorus



Then you give me that sheepish look

That always gets you, off the hook,

And when I think you’re safely in your den,

You just do it all over again and again

Oh Talina! x 4

You’re sleeping in the box, tonight, x 4

​Repeat Chorus x 2

estledaire 03.2014
(tanya michelle matefi)


00:00 / 00:19
Dancing on the Grass_edited.jpg

track 9

00:00 / 00:38

    mother expresses

– the hope that a loved one will recover from serious illness –

– the belief that miracles still occur –

and this was, in fact, the case. 🤍


Verse 1

Don’t remember when you were young,

the days before it had begun.

The girl in the old photos couldn’t have known,

That the seeds were already sown.


Mother, sent from one to another

Mother, the tides pulled us under

Mother, you accepted the thunder,

For this one, and her brother


We say “thanks, now you be blessed.”

Though we feel so helpless.


Verse 2

The darkened room, the damp facecloth.

Soaking the pain,

Eating the wrath.

Relief withheld, the babies grown

Echoing walls, in an empty home



We said “God forbid,” but it still came to this!



Verse 3

The girl and the old photos are blurred,

Only the alterer remains unaltered

And though the waves, the waves, the waves of pain,

tear you asunder,

you don’t count the cost,

Oh my mother, oh my mother.

We say, “thanks, now you be blessed.” Though we feel so helpless.


Second Part

So helpless, my mother,

Still I pray you will recover,

Get to know that miracles still occur,

Get to know the touch that stills the hurt.

Though we feel so helpless,
we say “mother, be blessed.”
Be blessed, miracles occur. (repeat till end)

estledaire - 2016
(tanya michelle matefi)

a hundred acre wood
00:00 / 00:24

a hundred acre wood

Image by Annie Spratt

track 10

Little girl, though you’ve grown,
You’re still the same girl,

I’ve always known.
Young woman, now I see in you,
Both all you were,

and what you still will do.

Through the years, I made a nest,
and tried to teach you,

what’s for your best,
But, more than you will ever guess
You taught me too, what it means to be blessed.


Now you are growing your own wings,
Your life’s about to begin.
Young woman,

though you’ll leave childhood,
I’ll always love you,

a hundred acre wood.

Little girl you will always find shelter here,
But I know I’ll see you soar when your time to fly is near.
When your confidence grows,
You can stand on your own,
But you’ll take with you
The love from your home.


Now you are growing your own wings,
Your life’s about to begin.
Young woman, though you’ll leave childhood
I’ll always love you, a hundred acre wood

Little girl, though you’ve grown,
You’re still the same girl, I’ve loved and known.
Young woman, though you’ll leave childhood,
I’ll always love you, a hundred acre wood.

for iola

estledaire 15 December 2014
(tanya michelle matefi)

written to my daughter for her 15th birthday, about that special time in life, no longer a child, but not yet a woman.

one bedtime, during the bedtime story, cuddle time,
the expression "i 🤍 you a hundred acre wood!"
came about between us, to mean, "i love you endlessly."

Image by Vince Fleming

du what you do


00:00 / 00:28

!! 🤍 what you do to me🤍 !!

track 13

estledaire 2016
(tanya michelle matefi)

du what you do
ready, steady, go
Image by Patty Brito

track 12

ready, steady, go!

Ready, steady, fall down,
Elodie, you tumble to the ground,
In a cascade of golden curls,
You collapse in a heap of giggles.

With your infectious mirth,
You jump back up from the earth,
You just can’t wait to begin again,
so you spin,
And you say:



“Ready, steady, go!

Get up again!

Ready, steady, go!

Get up again!

Ready, steady, go!”


When you fall down,

Get up again.

Get up again.


Ready, steady, fall down,

Sometimes the world seems to spin round,

Sometimes you’re bound to hit the dirt,

And at times life’s gonna hurt.


But when things get you down,

You know that they are gonna to turn round.

Get back up and try again,

And say:

Repeat Chorus



When you fall down,

Get back up off the ground!

When life gets you down,

Get back up off the ground,

And say:


“Ready, steady, go….
When you fall down Get up again. X 4

for Elodie:

estledaire 5 November 2017
(tanya michelle matefi)


A song written for my then 5-year-old niece, whose get up and go is an inspiration. A firm hit at the kindergarten!

00:00 / 00:32

Snowfall from my frozen heart,
Wild geese over glacier fly,
Return in spring heal hardened hurt,
Melt my tears, Truth free my cry,
Melt my tears, Truth free my cry.

Verse 1
Soul ice-cracked
Cold-burnt dry.
Silenced songs,
Mourning sigh.
Edge of tempest,
War alone.

Seeds sometimes in sorrow sown,
Seeds sometimes in sorrow sown.

Repeat Chorus

Verse 2
Expression feared,
No relief
Drought-stricken eyes
Reach inside,
Acknowledge pain,


Open up to healing rain
Open up to healing rain

Repeat Chorus


estledaire 1995
(tanya michelle matefi)


A couple of flying shouting geese._edite

track 13

00:00 / 00:26

In every life, whether you happen to be in the warmth of the African summer, or the chill of a European winter, there is a winter of the soul.

Yet, as in nature, spring always returns to the spirit, sometimes announced by the return of the wild geese, which, in Celtic Christianity, were traditionally a symbol for the Holy Spirit.

Snowfall expresses how facing the truth of pain and loss and allowing ourselves to mourn, is our first step to healing and how, within times of sorrow, we can learn and find that God is a faithful Comforter whose joy always returns, like geese in spring.


a rainy day
Car Dashboard View_edited.jpg

track 14

00:00 / 00:36

A month after starting guitar lessons, I had practiced before going to bed and woke up the next, rainy morning with a haunting new melody.

I hummed it all day, and driving in my car in the rain, I noticed that the rhythm exactly matched that of windscreen wipers.

Images came into my mind, tied into conversations and discussions I'd taken part in in the weeks leading up to this.

And this unfolded like a vivid film in my mind, and became this story, of a family who experiences a near-tragedy, that is challenging to come back from, but which helps them realise what is important and go on to lead a far richer life, so that they can only be thankful for what happened
on that rainy day.

a rainy day

Part 1

I won’t look at the photos
Won’t think of what happened to you,
When my heart is still bleeding,

Like the rain bleeding in through the windscreen
where you bled too,
and the wipers still beating
In time with your heart, and then not
as your life ebbed away


red lights flickered and faded
I still talk to you though I am not sure
you hear what I say,
oh please do not leave me…..

Did you hear the sound of the sirens that sped
You to the place where I wait by your bed
Praying our last words are not the last said.


I fall asleep with my head on your chest,
I dream about the day we first met.
And all of our memories, time after time,
My life’s yours.
Your death’s mine.


Part 2

Now I walk on a path
Through the forest where your car lost its way,
Moisture dripping from leaves.


I come every year
Rain or cheer
But it’s raining today,
Softly falling like tears


It’s a place where life ended
But I don’t come here to grieve – no
Though I can hardly breathe,
I lay flowers on the ground
When I turn around
You are reaching for me,

here was also life’s reprieve.

I woke to the sound of a flat-line ring
Warnings, hands pushing me, people running
You’d become abstract, lifeless body wracked,
As they, tried to bring you back


Unreal, that’s not you!
Nothing like I knew!
Nothing I can do!
I cannot go with you!
But unseen you struggled as all my hopes died
Fought somehow, to open your eyes…



You wanted more,
Than the life you knew before,
So after you fought for life,
You were somehow most alive


And in spite of fear, yes in spite of pain
Near-loss taught us both, the lessons of rain

Part 3

For a life led more fully, we give thanks as we quietly pray,
As we’re so grateful for that rainy day.

estledaire november 2013
(tanya michelle matefi)t


(for all the people I love, you are with me every day)

Wholesome, come,

to the end of the day,

Can’t wait, to hear what you say,

I just like hearing your thoughts.


Wholesome, you’re with me all through the day.

I think, of all that you say,

And I am grateful to know you.


Who, oh, who, who are you?

That you do what you do?

That you bring out my best,

That you help me find rest?


Could this be wholesome?

Just what I needed,

To feel completed?


To feel me some wholesome,

la, da, da, da ,da,


la, da, da, da, da


la, da, da, da, da, da.

​estledaire 23 May 2021

(tanya michelle matefi)

Image by Kelly Sikkema

track 15

00:00 / 00:22

With this song something happened that  I’ve never experienced before. It wasn't unusual that I woke up with the melody and the first word, “wholesome”, but when I went  to record it on my phone, the whole song flowed out, in less than 2 minutes. “wholesome” came to me as a “whole song”. It was the culmination of many talks with dear people and many harmonious things happening to compliment each other.
And it was just what we needed,
for the album to be completed!

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